JOKE

Someone told me this joke the other day and so I thought I would share.

A married lady found a bottle washed up on the beach and so closed her eyes and rubbed it.
WHOSH! A genie appeared and granted her three wishes.


The lady asked for the genie to make her the most beautiful woman on earth. "Certainly" said the genie "but please know this, whatever you ask for will also be given to you husband - ten fold. So be aware, that your husband will be the most handsome man on earth."


"That is ok" said the woman. "I will still be the most beautiful woman on earth and so he will still want me."


WHOSH - her wish was granted


For her second wish the lady asked to be the richest person. "Well" said the genie. "I can make you the richest woman but your husband will be the richest person, as he will receive 10 times the amount of money you do."


"That's ok" said the woman. "I don't mind".


WHOSH - her wish was granted


"Well" said the genie. "What would you like for your final wish?"


The lady replied "A small heart attack"

COUNT DOWN AND MORE ..

O.K ooooooo it is getting close now! Went to the surgeon on Friday and he was really happy with my pre-op weight loss (8 kg in 2 weeks).

I filled in the huge amount of hospital forms and I am ready to roll........

The surgeon was explaining the surgery and mentioned that I will be the lucky recipient of 2 surgical stockings! Oh that is high fashion. So unimpressed I wanted to know where the fairness was in that. After all I was giving him 90% of my wonderful stomach and what do I get in return --- 2 surgical stockings. He just laughed!

I will be in the hospital for 3 nights. My friends think that would be like a holiday and I should just lie back and relax. So I will take my laptop and do my blogging from the beside. Photos too!

He said that he would expect me to lose about 10kg in the first 2 weeks. Just wondering how much 90% of your stomach would weigh?????

Next time .... will be via the hospital bed ....

Tomorrow I am off to see the surgeon for the last time before the surgery! YAH! I have to fill out hospital forms, go over blood test results, and pay. Let's just say that unless you have private health insurance this would be extremely difficult to be able to go through. Your bank account would lose weight much faster than you!

Feeling good!

HANDS UP - WHO CHEATED ON THE PRE-OP DIET?

I was talking to a lady today and she said she cheated on the pre-op diet. She had Chinese about 1 week before surgery. Has anyone else done this?

THEY LIED ABOUT THE BANANA!

I cannot tolerate diet bars first thing in the morning. I cannot eat chocolate first thing in the morning (Easter excluded - Hey I will eat chocolate for religion!). SO .. I looked up the calorie content in the bars and then the calories in 2 boiled eggs - the eggs are over 100 calories less. So I headed to the kitchen and boiled 2 eggs and had that for brekky. YUM! I love eggs so that was great with me. I only had the eggs, nothing else. I understand that the bars have other nutritious stuff in them, however I needed something else and eggs ended up being lower in calories anyway.

I also bought the banana diet shake. It does not taste like banana. It takes like .............pancake mixture. I was not impressed but these things are $30 for 8 sachets - so I will finish them.

I am not weighing myself at the moment. It is that time of the month and nothing seems to be moving. I know I am not gaining so I thought it was best to wait a week. Some days I barely eat anything. By the time I finished my scans and blood tests etc., I skip breakfast and wait for lunch, by that time I grab a bar and head out the door to do other bits and pieces and dinner is a bar and a cup of vegetables. Plus water water water water.

Getting there. Bring on surgery. Even if it is just to get off these diet bars!

X-Ray - Check, Ultrasound - Check

So today  I waddled off to the hospital for my ultrasound and x-ray. It started well - I found a car spot! As many of you know, finding a car spot in a hospital car park is like winning lotto. Well, I found one. Then I continued to waddle (notice at this point we waddle, it will turn to a run/glide/slide/float when the weight comes off) into diagnostics and all went well. That stuff they make you drink - yuk. Tastes like chalk and is the consistency of mud. Then the x-ray machine tipped me upside down to see if I had any reflux from the chalk mud. I could feel myself sliding off. But hey - 1 hour and 10 minutes and I was out of there. Not bad considering these places can often leave you till you have watched every morning talk show that is on the large plasma in the waiting room.

As for those &$%#* diet bars! I am sick to death of them. There is no way I am coming off this diet - but oh blimey! SO next Friday 23rd I see the surgeon one last time before surgery to go through all of my test results and fill out hospital admission forms.

So while I was youtubing last night I came across a show called 'Big Meets Bigger' - OMG! This show is a great one to watch if you need encouragement to lose weight.

It had two ladies from the U.S in the South. One weighed about 38 stone. It showed how her weight has taken over her life - not that she is helping herself now - but it shows just how bad things can get.

I hate diet bars and water!

Yes the weight is coming off , and this is only pre-surgery - Hooray! BUT I have come to hate diet bars and water. Some days are better than others, but I look at my bottle of water and think - Blah! I drink it because I have to and it is good for you and blah, blah, blah but ...

One thing I have noticed is that I am not craving any other type of food. This is a shock but I am ok getting my kids their meals and I don't pick at anything.

I am off to the hospital tomorrow for scans and x-rays.  Got new p.j's for hospital and getting bits and pieces ready.

I have not once thought 'what the hell am I doing?' - I know that this is the right way to go!

Blood Tests and ECG

  Got on the scales this morning and have lost 4.2 kg over 3 days. Pretty happy with this. SO off for some blood tests this morning in preparation for the big day (28th March). They took 9 test tubes of blood then did an ECG. I was a bit worried when she got nine tubes out. My veins often die during a blood test and so they usually have to dig for my blood. However with all the water I am now drinking I was ok - I flowed like the Nile :)

It was about 10am when I got home and I was not hungry as I had to fast for the blood tests. The water had filled me up so I just hung on till lunch time to eat my first bar. Friday is my x-ray and Ultrasound.

I am surviving and feeling better than I thought. Thank you so much to everyone who has written in - you are all so supportive - I really do appreciate it.

DAY 3 PRE-OP DIET AND FEELING OK

Today is the third day on my pre-op diet. I weighed myself this morning, after having had 5 meals replaced by diet bars and I have lost 1 kg (2.2lbs).

I feel really good. Yes there are times when I am starving but now I know to just drink water and having to drink a minimum of 2 litres a day definitely helps. So far, so good - fingers crossed, touch wood, and all that stuff!

I COULD EAT A HORSE AND CHASE THE JOCKEY!

I am starving! I am on the pre-op diet and it is killing me. My cat is lying on the floor in front of me and I am thinking 'that is a nice juicy looking leg' - just kidding - but it is not far off. Apparently if you don't die from hunger whilst on the diet, it is possible to lose up to 6kg in the first week. For this amount of torture I think it should be minimum 10.

I am venting. I am hungry and I am venting. I think I will go for a walk - might help to move away from the cat!

I'M BOOKED IN! 28th MARCH HERE I COME!!!

I went for THE talk today about weight loss and surgery and all the other lovely stuff that comes with being ... well fat! My doctor gave me 2 choices the LapBand or Gastric Sleeve. He gave all pros and cons and everything that goes with both procedures and I opted for Gastric Sleeve. I am booked in for the 28th March, which is really close and am on the Opti diet to shrink the liver at the moment.

By the time I got home from the doctor it was 5pm and I didn't get the shake mixture because it was peak hour and the roads are chaotic. I just wanted to go home. So I will get the shakes tomorrow morning after dropping off the kids and I think I might buy a new digital scale too!

The doctor was great and he explained to me that most people who lose weight without surgery often regain and often add a few kilos too. I need to have this surgery and so I will say this over and over to myself when I have a meltdown about everything.  I have seen other bloggers photos and you all look fabulous! So say bye to the fat! The journey has begun.

THE TIME HAS COME!

I am off to the doctor tomorrow. I am so excited (not usually how you feel about a doctors appointment). I am shocked at how much happier I have been since making the decision to have the surgery. I only wish I had done this earlier - but hey can't go back only forward. I will put up a post after my consultation.

Ahh Clothes! Ahh damn a wedding!

When at the shops I may have glimpsed once or twice at the clothes section - the 'non-fat' department. The stuff in the front of the shop and not the fat gear hidden in the back corner! Which when you see the news and they say "we are all getting fatter" - why do they hide the bigger clothes? You would think that the stores would make a bit of money out of that section. Anyway ... I was thinking thin thoughts and then it came. A wedding invitation. NOOOOO!!!! I want to be thin and attend. I want to spend the money on a nice dress not a car cover with arm holes. Bugger! So I have to spend money on a dress that I don't want in order to go to this wedding. I can't get out of the wedding - it's family! One of those weddings where there will be relatives that you would just love to walk past, having dropped a lot of weight and look great. Having been the victim of their little snide remarks that are said 'because they love you'. Yeah right!
I know - I am venting. But I thought if anyone would understand it is my fellow bloggers and if they don't then I might look at some serious psychiatric help! Oh dear!

WHY LAPBAND? WHY NOT GASTRIC SLEEVE?

Why did you all decide to go with the lapband? Was there a particular reason as to why you did not chose the gastric sleeve? Was it an option?

When I see the surgeon on the 8th March, he does both procedures and I have been reading about both and just want some insight as to what both procedures offer. I was hoping that people could tell me what they have heard and if you did have a choice, are you happy with what you finally decided?